“You wanted me to cook? Great! We will eat what the drows eat. Slice it, coat it in breadcrumbs and fry it in the melted fat. This is kalamari. Pretty good – she assured the officer, who suddenly turned morbidly green.”
quote from LIRIEL BAENRE / ELAINE CUNNINGHAM “Tangled Webs”
The world of Underdark, drowning in darkness, inside the great world of Forgotten Lands, is a place that fascinates and terrifies many adventurers. The networks of tunnels, yaks, chasms and this whole huge labyrinth stretching underground is a place that has developed an absolutely unique ecosystem. The fauna and flora of Underworld in no way resemble that of the surface, just as the inhabitants of the Underdark are nothing like the terrestrials.
If the heroes manage to get to the Underdark, usually the chance to return from it is, at most, low .. But as long as our heroes are alive, they must eat something, and in a place like Underdark it is always difficult. So grab your spoons brave Adventurers and you’d better cast a light spell on them to find at least some mushrooms you want and not to fell into some random hole full of spiders ..
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Local Cuisine and Ingredients
Due to the very unusual conditions in this underground world, the ingredients in the kitchen are very limited. At the same time, the inhabitants – at least the more developed ones – have hundreds of ideas for preparing everything that can be found in the Underdark caves. The local fauna and flora are absolutely different from what can be found in the world above, and in many cases the dishes are prepared with seemingly disgusting ingredients.
The main ingredients used in Underdark are, of course, mushrooms. The enormous amount of different mushrooms available in the Underdark provides the basis for the nutrition of all creatures that inhabit it – from intelligent races to insects. Almost everything from bread to wine is prepared in Podmok using this unusual ingredient. In addition to mushrooms, many different lichens and mosses are also used culinary, and some of them are used to produce unique spices, reaching dizzying prices on the surface.
Types of edible mushrooms and lichens that can be found in Underdark:
- Barrelstalk
Mushroom resembling a barrel of beer, of considerable size (up to 2.5 m high and 1.5 m wide). Its outer layer is woody, but inside it is edible pulp and a water tank (up to 190 liters). But if the water in the tank is black, it means that the fungus is producing spores and the water cannot be drunk for fear of poisoning. - Ripplebark
Edible mushroom, somewhat similar to coral and slightly similar to stale meat. It does not require cooking. - Luudren
A rare tree that only grows where faerzress (magical radiation of the Underworld) appears. The trees appears dead, its branches are bare. Every 3-4 years it produces a small number of perfect red fruits, perfect for making wine and elixirs. For example, it is used by drows to make the famous and incredibly expensive wine “Spider’s Blood”. - Bluestalk
The fungus itself is inedible, while its spores play the role of grain in the Underdark. They are perfect for flour. - Waterorb
As the name suggests, the mushroom grows wherever there is water. It looks like a large green-gray puffball. It can be eaten after proper preparation. - Zurkhwood
A huge mushroom, reaching up to 12 meters. Mostly used for the production of firewood. Its spores, which can reach the size of a hazelnut, are edible. - Fire Lichen
Fiery-colored lichens, usually growing in warmer regions of Underdark. They are extremely spicy in taste. You can prepare a spicy bread paste from them, dry them and change them to seasoning. Duergars use them to produce extremely spicy alcohol.
The above examples are taken from the official “Underdark” textbook (Bruce R. Cordell, Gwendolyn F. M. Kestrel, Jeff Quick). Nevertheless, I encourage every Dungeon Master to make their own variations of strange and edible mushrooms. Below are some of my examples:
- Chi’merra
Yellow mushroom, up to 30 cm long, with one stem, from which up to 5 hats grow. When heated, it melts slightly in butter or olive oil and smells overwhelmingly like melted cheese. - Cheeruppers
Colonies of funghi so tiny that they resemble lichens hanging from walls. They usually grow near cliffs and gaps. They are completely edible, but they induce strong hallucinations. And – as in the name – they make everyone who tries them cheer up. - Edible Moss
Very fine moss that only grows in damp tunnels. It can be recognized by its incredibly intense green color. It has a slightly nutty smell and tastes like lettuce. - Brancher
A very tasty mushroom, brown in color, max. 15 cm long. It looks like a small bundle of brittle twigs. It tastes like crunchy bread, when properly seasoned.
“They hunted for pyrimo, small predatory fish that were able to eat a grown lizard to the bone in a minute. They were extremely predatory, they jumped out of the water to attack the water-drinking animals on the shore. (…) Fish were dangerous even after death. Their meat was tender, tasty – and very poisonous. If the pyrimo were properly prepared, they were able to get you drunk better than wine, and each party they were served at, would immediately become an event. Accidents did occur from time to time, but they were not very common. A properly trained master chef was able to prepare a pyrimo knowing that his own life would depend on the result. “
indirect translation – ELAINE CUNNINGHAM ‘Daughter of the Drow’
Another source of food are various fish and other aquatic creatures inhabiting the Underdark. Of course, many of them have a slightly different physiognomy, than what the characters may have become used to, on the surface, still many are edible. Another source of proteins are reptiles, amphibians and rodents living in Underdark, as well as – unfortunately – insects, which here can reach considerable sizes. Bats are also a possible food source. And when it comes to larger animals, roths are certainly the source of meat in Underdark, probably the most popular farm animals in this land.
Examples of protein sources in Underdark:
- White Eels
Blind, white eels up to 2 m in length. Their meat is very tasty and fatty, however, catching them is difficult due to the significant electroshock which they use for defense. - Bats
Apart from drazgars – large bats inhabiting Underdark – these inconspicuous mammals can reach many sizes, and their meat is one of the more easily available sources of energy. - Pyrimo
Small fish, with extremely tasty and very poisonous meat. Properly prepared, they taste great and “go to your head like wine”. Their behavior can be compared to extremely aggressive piranhas. - Black Barracudas
They can often be found in deeper dark lakes. These fish are extremely dangerous, they can reach 1.5 meters in length, and their jaws have a triple row of teeth that easily crush flesh and bone. Their meat is nutritious and tasty. - Crabs, Squid and Octopus
For example, Moss Crab. Definitely hard to find, because of its extraordinary adaptability. These crabs usually live on the shores of stagnant freshwater, and their shell is green covered with live plants. They are often almost impossible to find. Their meat is incredibly light, nutritious and salty. - Various Rodents
- Reptiles and Amphibians
Among them, the Hatter Digger – a large lizard that usually lives near the Zurkwood colonies Diggers feed on mushroom flesh after gnawing through their wooden layer. They move extremely fast and are often difficult to see due to their dark gray appearance. The Hatter’s Digger eggs are very tasty and nutritious, and the meat has an unusual pungent taste and blood-red color.
Of course, every Dungeon Master should remember about the unusual conditions prevailing there when inventing new elements of the Underworld fauna and flora. Strange fluorescent colors, additional organs that generate light, or suction cups on the hands to facilitate tunnel climbing – these types of features can be found in creatures of Underdark.
Due to the unique nature of this land, we will not mention the usual taverns, because it is difficult to imagine that a group of heroes “dropped in for dinner” in Menzoberranzan .. However, below you will find a random encounter that may bring travelers closer to the cuisine of Underdark.
The Foolers
If the heroes who found the way to the Underdark will get lucky, they may meet a wandering group of Duergars, called “Foolers”. Overall, being friendly isn’t something you can easily find in Underdark, but these dwarves are a glorious exception to this rule.
Foolers come from the great city of Gracklstugh, the largest city of the Duergar located in the northern Underdark. They talk about themselves quite reluctantly, but as far as we know, their clan was very rich and respected. At the same time, unlike other duergars, they had much hotter and mercifull hearts. After many disputes, quite bloody, the entire clan (already small in numbers) left the great city and split into smaller groups that scattered across the Underdark. Each of the leaders of these nomad groups is called Livor – after the legendary leader of their clan, but they keep their real clan names secret. Other duergars gave them the name “Foolers”.
Foolers are famous for three things. The first is their amazing fighting skills. They always fight in groups and are perfectly in tune with each other. These skills allow them to move quite freely in the incredibly dangerous terrain that is Underdark. Another thing that Foolers are famous for is their mastery in preparing drugs and hallucinogenic substances. There are rumors that some of these subtances are magical and aid Foolers in battle, which is why they are such difficult opponents. And third, Foolers are absolute master chefs in the kitchen. They like and know how to cook even using the craziest ingredients. Overall, they are quite friendly with terrestrials, and they fancy inviting them to their camp to hear about the wonders of the surface world. In this case, they always prepare a small feast, which can last up to several days.
Foolers Feast
- Tunnelers Stew
Stew cooked on hot stones in the bonfire. It is prepared in the hollow cap of young Zurkwood funghi, with great care so that the woody mushroom bowl does not catch the fire. The stew contains at least 10 kinds of small mushrooms (up to 15 cm), cleaned, and cut in half. In addition, the stew contains roth meat, as well as centipede, previously baked over the fire. All this, with the addition of many spices, is stewed in wine overnight, over very low heat. - Luminous Roast
Roth leg marinated in Luudren fruit juice and salty Barrelstalk sauce. The thigh is baked in a quite unique way – only over the truncated hat of the Torchstalk (a unique mushroom whose hat, if set on fire, burns for 24 hours). Mushroom rusks and moss salad are served with the roast. - Eel Pie
It is basically a large, long eel, stripped of its skin and coiled in a spiral shape with its head right in the center. The spiral is held by thin skewers made of Zurkwood. It is marinated in a heavy and dark mushroom sauce, then spread with a fiery lichen paste and baked over the fire. After baking, the spiral has a very intense red color, and Foolers sprinkle it with coarse salt before serving it on a wide board. - Mushroom Boats
The dish is made of white mushrooms (called Mugglers). The dwarfs keep them in the water for at least a day so that the mushrooms soften a bit, then clean them, pour in snake eggs inside and bake them over the fire. The dish is a real delicacy of Underdark, because the Mugglers prepared in this way have an extraordinary sweet-spicy taste, and snake eggs are hard to find. - Sate Pates
It is a delicious but slightly macabre dish. Bats are thrown into a wooden vat. Species known as”bald bats” in Underdark due to the lack of fur. Dwarfs cut off their heads and then crush them with a specially prepared hammer together with bones, skin and membranous wings until the mass is completely smooth. Then the meat is stewed with spices and mushroom sauce. After stewing, the meat is wrapped with dried algae leaves and a bluish lettuce that grows in Underdark. Then they are wrapped in a dough prepared from mushroom flour and baked in the oven for 3 hours. - Devil’s Sausages
These sausages are made of roth meat and tinsel with the addition of fiery lichen and sweet Mesh’it juice. This juice is actually the resin that seeps out of the Luudren tree when it is cut properly. Extremely fatty and incredibly tasty, when baked over a fire. Interestingly, during baking, the sausages turn completely black, leaving red stains from fire lichens.
The Foolers are a very interesting company for the evening. When asked, they will be happy to talk about their adventures and the strange creatures they meet in the Underdark. And above all, they will behave very freely and naturally, laughing often and not avoiding spicy and coarse jokes. And this is mainly due to their unique recipes:
- Jesters Cookies
Very sweet and spicy round cookies, made of funghi flour with the addition of dried Cheeruppers and fire lichens. Interestingly, the cookies, although crunchy on the outside, seem soft and have a dark green color like moss. They probably include many more things, but the dwarves will not want to reveal their secret recipe. - Foolers Beer
Dwarves will gladly offer travelers this unique beer with a phosphorescent blue color and fluffy golden foam. In fact, Foolers do not accept any other drink, they even despise good wine, and only drink water if they have no other choice. And it’s hardly surprising because Foolers Beer is incredibly good. It is a completely transparent drink with a flavor so intense that it is hard to believe that it is not made of hops. There is a slight hint of spiciness, sweetness in the beer, and it almost certainly must have been brewed with a faerzress influence. Foolers will never tell anyone the recipe for their beer, but the heroes will feel some effects after drinking it:
– 1 Mug of Beer gives you complete resistance to fear for an hour
– 1 Mug of beer increases attributes of Strength and Dexterity, by 4, for an hour
At the same time, if the hero drinks at least 3 mugs, he will feel how addictive this drink is. After weaning (24 hours later) for at least a week, he will feel nauseous, see double, have trouble sleeping, and will not be able to control his hands trembling. If he/she will still be in the company of Foolers, he will have a strong need to “stay with them” or “borrow” a barrel of beer. If the hero says goodbye to the Foolers, he will remember for the rest of his life how perfect this beer was, and no other drink will ever overshadow it.
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